How We Are Today:

I never thought I was say this, but my husband and I are stronger than ever. The affair was two years ago, but it seems like decades ago. Unbelievably to me, I can now look back on it as a difficult situation we got through together like when my son was first diagnosed with epilepsy or when my mother died.Yes, it was difficult and awful and I would never want to repeat it, but we are stronger as the result and the equality in our marriage is much more present.

I was really able to incorporate what I learned and went back to college and earned my degree. I am now a successful business owner, earn my own money, and feel that I am a complete equal in this marriage. My husband respects me and is proud of me.

I no longer fear I am not good enough. I know I am. There was one website that really helped me regain my self esteem as a woman. It was recommended to me by a woman on a forum who used it to help lure her husband back from his mistress. It is called "Her Secrets.net - Seduction Secrets For Irresistible Women." I know it sounds silly, but what I learned has really put the passion and spark back in my marriage. I am no longer worried my husband will go elsewhere, I will put it that way.

I was not open to any of this until I was able to heal, but once I did, I really wanted to regain my self esteem as a woman. This book helped me to uncover the confident woman inside me and it teaches you how to develop that intangible "it" that draws men in (I believe many husband believe the mistress has this "it," and I wanted to insure that I had it, so my husband didn't need to look elsewhere. I was lucky. Once I found out, my husband had no problems with dropping her, but this book also really helps women lure back husbands, for whatever reason, have problems letting the mistress go.

I now understand why the affair happened and work every day to ensure that it doesn't again. I now understand that to affair proof your marriage, you understand and take care of emotional, psychological, and physical needs of BOTH parties (you too - if your needs aren't met, you won't have anything genuine to give your husband. You must be fulfilled and happy to be able to give this to someone else.

The best advice that I can give is don’t allow this to eat you alive. Don’t sit there and doubt or stew or question yourself. Don't allow it to make you doubt yourself or take what is very dear to you. I know that some days you will feel like crawling in a hole. But, you have to turn on the lights and face it. Doing so is the only way to make it go away and ensure that your marriage is stronger as a result.

If a counselor doesn’t work well for you, try something else until something helps you. I am still amazed and disgusted that books that cost me less than one counseling session and are what saved me. I spent thousands on counseling that just made me feel worse.

Be proactive, don’t be afraid to take an honest look at what is going on and be willing to do the work needed to fix it. At the very least, sign up for the free newsletters offered by both books. This will give you a great place to start (the sign up place is usually at the end of the site). You'll be taking action and they will give you some very effective tools to start healing this.

Dr. Bob (Break Free From The Affair) offers a free newsletter which is a great place to get started.

Dr. Frank (three step program - "How To Survive An Affair") offers a free 7 day ecourse on how to move past the affair and / or save your marriage, if that's what you want. Again, free and life changing.

Her Secrets.Net - Seductions Secrets For Irresistible Women" - After you've healed, this can really help with your self esteem as a woman. This helped tremendously with my knowing my husband wouldn't look elsewhere. I have also recommended this to friends who actually divorced their husband but wanted to date again and wanted to attract men they thought weren't in their league. It works.